[This reflection by Helen Ruffhead was published in the weekly news bulletin of Horley Baptist Church, 06/Sep/2026]
A few weeks ago we looked at God the Father in our sermon series. When Jesus talked about God as Father he was showing how intimately God knows us and loves us. In a recent article, Dazz shared how being a father had helped him to understand more of God’s love for him. I found the same when I became a parent.
Sadly, I have met many people for whom the word “father” conjures up negative feelings. For some it was the man who rejected them because of their disability or gender identity. Nearly all the homeless young people I hosted in recent years had a father who was either abusive or absent. When talking to one girl about God she said she could never call him “Father”, as it reminded her of the person who had so badly abused her.
I am fortunate that my father was a good man who stayed with his family, but in my generation (baby boomers) the father tended to be a more distant figure whose main role was to be the financial provider, leaving the mother to do the caring. This can lead to a picture of a God who provides for our needs but is emotionally distant from us.
I remember at university confiding in a friend from a Roman Catholic background about my feelings for a young man in the Christian Union. She later told me that she had prayed to Mary about it, as it seemed more appropriate for her to talk to a woman about such matters rather than a male God. We need to remember that God has both male and female attributes, as is made clear in Genesis 1 v31, which talks about God creating both male and female in his own image. God has the qualities of the best of parents, both fathers and mothers.
How can we help those whose experiences of parents have been so negative? The best way is to give them the love they lacked. There are so many children desperately in need of loving foster or adoptive homes. My fostering career was very brief, only 2 years as I started at age 65, but it was wonderful seeing the change in my teenage foster daughter over that time and I thank God for bringing her into my life.
Could God be calling you to do the same?
Resources:
[1]
Bible quotations: Unless otherwise specified, quotations are taken from the resources of Bible Gateway or Bible Hub, in accordance with the licencing conditions outlined on our Site Policies page.
Bible dates:
Where appropriate, the dates given for Biblical events are based on the Bible Timeline resource
and are subject to the constraints defined on the corresponding webpage.
Horley Baptist Church onlineHBC main site
Confidential prayer link
Link to Recent Reflections
.
Link to Index of Bible Passages
Last Sunday’s reflection: Dolly Parton, 1946-2026 by Martin Shorey
Contributed by Helen Ruffhead; © Helen Ruffhead