[This reflection by Martin Shorey was published in the weekly news bulletin of Horley Baptist Church, 04/Oct/2026]
Sometimes relationships break down not because love isn’t there, but because it’s expressed differently. In his book The 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman suggests that people give and receive love in different ways. One person values words, another time together, another practical acts of care. If I expect you to love me in my way, I might completely miss the love you’re actually offering.
I think we can sometimes make the same mistake in our relationship with God. We express our love for him in different ways. Some do so through silence and prayer, others through singing. Some love God by studying Scripture deeply; others show their love through practical service. Some treasure ancient prayers and traditions; others express their love in spontaneous worship.
The trouble comes when we assume that our way is the more spiritual one. We may look at someone who prays differently, worships differently or belongs to a different Christian tradition and conclude that their love for God is somehow lacking. Without realising it, we turn a difference in expression into a measure of devotion.
But Paul describes the church as a body: “But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be” (1 Corinthians 12 v18 [NIV]). An eye isn’t a faulty hand; an ear isn’t an inadequate eye. We need one another precisely because we are different.
Of course, our preferences shouldn’t become limits. We can learn ways of loving God that don’t come naturally to us. And perhaps the Christian whose faith looks least like ours has something vital to teach us about him.
Different doesn’t mean deficient, it could mean there is more to loving God than the ways we already know.
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Last Sunday’s reflection: Assists and Expectations by David Makanjuola
Contributed by Martin Shorey; © Martin Shorey